Most of us are stuck, stuck in relationships going nowhere or just because of the children or we might love our partner but have lost the sense of romance and are so caught up in our own world and crazy schedule or emotional feelings that we keep going like this. Is there any wonder the rate of divorce it at its highest?
You have to turn the attention of your spouse's wandering eyes back to you. You do this by having "Date Nights." It can be three times a month at the very least, where you and your spouse get the chance to dress sexy and leave the kids with the babysitter or a family member. Go to a place you haven't been in a long time and you both enjoy such as a fancy restaurant, a club, to play pool, or the movies, or even a bar. This night should be about rediscovering yourselves again and the fun part of you and your spouse, so try leaving the bossiness, jealousy, and talks about money and kids behind.
Hold hands. It might be cheesy to some people and it may take getting use to but in fact holding hands builds a bond with your partner and it gives you a sense of romance sort of like when the two were boyfriend and girlfriend, or in the beginning of the relationship. At first you might not feel comfortable and you might even be shy in public because you are not use to this, but this is romance and is intimacy We use to hold our partner's hand when we first started dating — why did we stop? No excuse is good enough because there are couples out there that have been together for many years and are still holding hands. This does not mean that you will hold your partner's hand and make him shop for clothes with you or go into the fitting room holding hands. It just means when you get out of the car, for example, hold hands then when you get into the store to shop you can let go, and when you are right back in the parking lot to get to your car hold hand. In the mall walking around hold hands, this builds intimacy and closeness with your partner. If your partner feels funny or uncomfortable talk to them.
Share information with your spouse. There are couples that don't even talk to each other anymore, or when they do is only talks of money, kids, and schedule. Take the time to ask your spouse how their day was. If they are hesitant to share information and just answer with a mere fine, start the conversation. Tell them something that happened at your job or around the house, tell them something you might have discussed at work with your friends, or how your job is going. This will get them to want to share their information and they will also start building the habit of asking you how work was, and eventually lead to more conversation. There are many couples that claim that their partners are their best friends, but the reason for this is because they talk to each other about everything there is nothing that one knows that the other doesn't. This builds not only a bond but trust, reassurance, and also ensures that there are no secrets in the relationship. Share information tell your partner you love them enough to care about how their day went or how they are in general.
Be kind to one another. Relationships that have lasted for a while tend to fall into habits and tricks, you get to know your partner's likes and dislike and so you know what they hate the most, what hurts their feelings, what makes them cry, or laugh. Some partners take advantage of this and decide to use this against one another. Do not insult each other whether in public or in the privacy of the house. Insulting each other causes hurt feelings and the damage might be irreversible. Even if you are mad, try to refrain from using nicknames or curse words and saying things that you will later regret, because what you might be left with in the relationship is only resentment towards each other. Take the time to say nice things to your partner. Call them sweetie, honey, baby, and tell them how good they smell or anything that is kind and tender. This will make your partner feel love and will in turn make them treat you the same way.
Plan a vacation. Sometimes we just need to get away and go on vacation with our partners. Family, too much work, stress in the relationship, worries about bills or kids can also affect the relationship. Find a romantic getaway even if you are taking the kids with you. Book things to do and try new things with your partner to bond. It's best to leave the kids at home so that you and your partner can get some romance at the end of the day. Drink some champagne, listen to soft music, and light some candles. Romance is the key to staying in love. Do everything in the vacation with your partner.
Always remember your partner's birthday. There’s nothing more awful than your partner forgetting your birthday or you forgetting theirs. No matter how old we get we should always remember their birthday and they should do the same. Even if you can't buy them an expensive birthday gift, just saying happy birthday and acknowledging their birthday will make them feel good.
Renew your vows. Relive the moment of when the two of you decided to become one and you can even make it better this time. When renewing your vows, you don't have to have a big celebration with all the friends you know and your partner know and the whole lot of people like the first time. It can be a small family and close friends’ celebration. The important thing this time around is creating your own vows. Take the time and think about all the things you like about your partner. Read a poem and write a passage from the poem that expresses how you feel, don't just copy and paste from the poem or article. This will make both of you remember and think of why you love each other and the things that you like about each other.
Hygiene is important for romance. There is nothing worse than cuddling at night time with your partner only to find out they don't smell so good and then the moment is ruined.
Be spontaneous. Stop setting days of the week on when you are going to have sex. Stop asking your significant other, 'should we have sex tonight you want to?'. Put away your snuggly, not-so-sexy pajamas and buy yourself something sexy—something your partner will love and love you in. Take your partner breakfast in bed, or call their job at lunch time and tell them something kinky and sexy that will leave them thinking about you all day. You can also take a shower with your partner if you prefer. This builds intimacy, romance, and it will put love back in your lives.
Write love letters. This is something we, both women and men, have completely forgotten about . Don't we love those romantic movies about a letter such as message in a bottle, and The Love Letter? Why can't we have our own fairy tales? Well we might not have a fairy tale life but we can have our own romantic story. On Valentine's Day skip the teddy bear or chocolates, or tie, or whatever it is you buy your husband or wife every year and get a card with a beautiful design in the outside but most importantly a blank sheet on the inside because pre-written valentine cards might be nice but they are not your words and they don't come from the heart. Sit down and think about all the things you like about your husband or wife, think about what made you fall in love with him or her and write it down in a piece of paper, then think about something you want to say to your love one. If this is difficult, think if it was your very last day on this earth or last day you were going to see them what did you want them to know?